Revisited
by OhSorry-DidIOffendYou
Summary: I Do Not Own Glee. As of right now its a Samcedes Angst, let me know what you think :). Enjoy! P.S. sorry in advance for any typo's
1. November 9th

**Let me start off by saying to any of you who read my other stories Lost Ones, Disappearing Acts, and How It Was Suppose to be. I am soooo sorry for taking so long to update, and I am most definitely continuing with all of the above, but I'm so stuck on all of them. I don't know if its because of what's happening to samcedes on the show, or if its the thousand things I've got running through my mind or my environment; but I have an EXTREME case of writer's block with all three of these stories. But I will do my best to get a move on with them! I can't give a date, but I can guarantee you that there is more to come.**

**The story below is something I've had on my mind for days now, and I just gotta let it out. Its extremely angsty, and its my interpretation of season 4 samcedes.**

**November 9th, 2012. 3:00 AM**

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_ She stirs, slowly opening her eyes and glances at her alarm clock " 3 o'clock in the fucking morning, really-" _Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! _She gets up covering her hot bare skin with the oversized nightshirt she tossed on the floor hours ago. She drags her feet towards her bedroom door and trips over the fan standing tall near the foot of her bed, ripping the cord from the wall as she lands on her hands and knees " This is just not my week" she mumbles to herself. Just as the whistling blades of the fan come to a deafening silent stop the front door starts up again._ Bang! Bang! Bang! _She jumps up and storms towards her bedroom door, just as she swings it open she's greeted with the sight of a briefs clad Noah Puckerman wiping the sleep from his eyes. She stops briefly to close her door before glaring at him "This better not be one of your little whores Puckerman or-" "Its not, none of them know where I live." Her face softens at the realization that he's probably as frustrated by the interuption of blissful sleep as she is before she huffs and begins to walk past him. Suddenly she's stopped by a muscular arm blocking her pathway, she looks up at him questioningly. Just as she's about to open her mouth to tell him to get the fuck out of her way he explains "Look, we don't know who's out there, its probably some psycho serial killer or something, I mean who else would be knocking on a stranger's door at 3 o'clock in the fucking morning, and Papa Jones would have my ass if anything happens to you so just...stay here. Alright mama" She rolls her eyes but does as she's told crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the hallway wall as he makes his way towards the front door _Bang! Bang! Bang_!- He swings the door open and she attempts to look over his shoulder to see who's there. "What the fuck bro" Puck tilts his shoulder to the side only slightly and thats when she see's it, its only for a split second, but her hands have been tangled up in that blonde hair enough times to know who it belongs to. "Dude, get in here-"

"Sam?" He's standing in front of her now, and she would be happy if it wasn't for the tormented look on his face or his red puffy eyes. She closes the distance between them. "Um... yeah, I'm gonna go back to bed now" He just stares at her, and she just stares back. They were standing chest to chest a dozen different emotions floating around, but none quite definable. She wouldn't have even noticed Puck leaving the room if it wasn't for the fact that it caused him to glance at the back of his door it closed. And just like that, the trance was broken, then worry and panic began to set in. " God, Sam, what are you doing here? How did you get here? Whats going on? Talk to me Sam, whats wrong? Is everyone ok? Please tell me no one's hurt-" and in a second both of his hands are softly caressing her neck as he leans his forehead against hers. There both breathing heavily but she's not exactly sure why " Calm down mercy" She closes her eyes tightly and finally allows herself to revel in his presence, in his touch. She rest her hands on top of his before letting them slide down his arms then drift down his back before resting along his waist. She releases a few long steady breaths before allowing herself to speak "I'm happy to see you, its just. I was suppose to come to you for the first visit, and I was just talking to you on the phone a few hours ago, and now you're here and...and...I just wasn't expecting this. And I know somethings wrong cause you've been crying, Sammy just tell me what's wrong- " "Everyones fine, I just needed to see you" he pulls back to look her in the eye "I needed to talk to you. Mercy... I fucked up."

She pulls away completely and takes a few steps back to stop herself from slapping him before finding out exactly what "fucked up" means. He takes a step towards her but she puts a hand up stopping him in his tracks "Mercy-" "Just tell me what you did" she whispers as she looks down dejectedly holding herself, preparing herself as she leans against the hallway wall. His eyes burn as he stares at her intensely, unblinkingly willing her to look at him; not defeatedly, but lovingly the way she had moments ago while he was holding her. "I've been talking to someone else" He debates whether or not he should continue when he sees the first tear silently roll down her cheek. He decides the least he owes her is complete honestly. "I approached her, I told her that we were broken up even though we're not. I know I'm wrong, now that I'm here and I see what its doing to you. But when I was back home I felt justified, I don't know, maybe because of the whole shane thing-"

"That was different and you know it!" He could hear it clear in her voice, the pain, the hurt. At that moment he allowed himself to let go, he allowed the tears to fall freely from his face because the last time he heard that sound was the first time he left. He promised he'd never make her feel that way again, and here he was doing it voluntarily. "I know, I know it was different but-"

"How long?"

"Two months, I've been chasing after her for two months. She wasn't really into it before, but things are starting to get a little more serious now." He could hear her trying to stop herself from sobbing, he could see her shaking as tears streamed down her face and it left him speechless.

"Did you fuck her?" He could hear her struggling to keep it together long enough to choke out the words.

"No, but we came close. I wanted to. But I couldn't, because of you. I think I knew that if I did that with her, it would really be over with you. But with you here, so far away it didnt really feel like we were together anymore, I felt alone. So then i thought maybe it wouldnt be such a bad thing, if things were over between us. But then I still couldnt fuck her cause I knew it would hurt you-" He heard her scoff before a low sarcastic chuckle escaped her lips. She stopped crying he thought to himself. "-I came here to break up with you, when I was back in Lima, it was so clear to me that thats what I had to do. Just let her go, you're moving on, let her do the same. But the closer I got, the harder it was for me to grasp that concept. Of us being over, of letting this new girl take your place, of you moving on. The thought of you with another guy, it fucking kills me mercy, it makes me so fucking angry, and hurt and...and... And thats when I realized how fucked up I was. I mean, just thoughts of you with someone else had me crying like a fucking baby. I just kept asking myself, how's she gonna feel when i tell her? Whats she gonna think when she finds out how badly i fucked this up? When I got on the plane I was so sure that this girl was worth giving this up for, but by the time I landed I wasn't so sure anymore- "

"Choose her" It was whispered so low he'd barely heard her. She was standing in front of him now. He stares at her questioningly and she nods in affirmation as fresh tears fill her eyes before turning her back to him and slowly walking towards her bedroom.

"what?"

"choose her" she responds over her shoulder as she rest her hand on the door knob, just as she's about to turn the handle he grabs her arms and pulls her towards him desperately.

"Wait, let me finish-" _SLAP!_ He's underestimated the anger now radiating off of her, initially confusing it for pain. He's brought to clarity by the throbbing sting resonating in his left cheek.

"Pick her, cause i don't FUCKING want you anymore" She tries to hit him again but he turns her around crossing her arms over her chest pulling her back close to his front as she fidgets trying to release herself from his grasp

"I'm sorry mercy, baby-"

"No-"

"If i could take it back"

"You shouldnt have been fucking with her to begin with!"

"I was alone and confused"

"Theres nothing to be confused about baby, you go back home and move on with this girl. And you love her and fuck her and break her heart when you realize she cant compare. But dont worry about me cause I'll be just fine. And dont come looking for me cause I'll be gone. I just hope shes worth it. Let me go!-" He finds himself underestimating her again, but this time its her strength as she frees her arms and reaches for her bedroom door again. In a last ditch effort to keep her close to him knowing this may very well be the last time he throws himself on the ground pulling her down with him. "No, she's not worth it. I dont want her, thats why I came Mercy thats why i had to see you, cause deep down inside I knew that if I saw you I wouldnt be able to pretend she's worth loosing you. thats why Im telling you all this because i want -"

" I dont give a fuck what you want Sam, now let me go, -"

"I love you"

He could feel her body trembling and he knew she was crying again

"I love you" he repeated as he laid her down on the hallway floor.

"I'm sorry" he whispered as he knealed between her thighs and leaned forward to brush away the tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm sorry" he whispers against her hot core before her walls clench around his tongue and her thighs quiver against the hands that hold her wide open.

"I love you" he whispers between her soft moans and shollow breaths as she curls her fingers in his hair pulling him closser, deeper.

"I love you too" she cries out as she rides out her third toe numbing mind boggling orgasm.

"Fuck" She sighs out as he rest his head on her stomach wrapping his arms around her waist as two silent tears slide down the side of her face.


	2. November 20th

**A/N: Excuse any gramatical mistakes, havnt gotten the chance to review errors, but its been a while since I've updated anything, and this was something on my mind I've been working on for a while and just really wanted to share with you guys. Hope you enjoy!**

**November 20th, 2012. 5:43 AM**

Ten small brown fingers grasp purple satin sheets before being intertwined with 10 long white ones. He thrust into her powerfully before pulling out painstakingly slow. She can feel him surrounding her, suffocating her, and yet she cant help but want more. He lets go of one of her hands and places it under her thigh pushing up causing her knees to fold leaving her more open to him. She moans into the sheets before she feels his fingers fiercely grip her face pulling her towards him taking her lips into a searing kiss. Her neck starts to ache from the awkward position its in, but then he slips his tongue into her mouth and the ache dissapates reappearing somewhere else. She's come to the conclusion that he's trying to kill her. Three hours of licking, sucking and fucking and he's only let her cum twice, both times with his mouth. He's been tormenting her ; loving her into a blissful oblivion, to the moment milliseconds before her toes curl and fireworks dance behind her eyelids. But then he sedates her, slowing down or pulling out completely just before she actually falls over the edge. She couldnt take it any more. Her fingers begin thier journey slithering their way between her mattress and her stomach before reaching their destination. She hasnt rubbed a full circle around her clit before his hand stills hers and all movement cease. "You wanna cum cedes?" he questions against her lips in a taunting manner. She pulls away from his kiss frustrasted by the games hes playing before getting on her hands and knees and taking matters into her own hands rocking back and forth on his pulsating cock. The sounds of there skin smacking together and the low guttural grunts coming out of his mouth bring a satifactory grin to her lips. _Finally _she thinks to herself as she feels her walls begin to flutter around him. Just as she's about to cum she feels his hands clutch her hips before he pulls out completely."Not yet" he whispers against her earlobe before biting it. She grunts before tossing herself on her back on a tantrum. "Why" She ask looking into his eyes, she sees something in them fear, guilt, dread but before she has a chance to decipher the moment has fled, the look has passed and is replaced with hopefulness, peace. _How does he do that_. "I just wanted to make this moment last" He's on his knees breathing heavily staring down at her. "Its not like this is the last time" she smiles up at him. _theres that look again_. He looks away, and when his eyes return to hers its gone. "what do you wanna do". she rolls her eyes at him before answering "You know what i want Sammy. I want you to stop messing around. _Fuck _me. Make me _cum_"

He gazes down at her in awe and confusion. _Who is this girl_. She never had a problem telling him what she wanted him to do to her in the past, but she was always so bashful about it. He wasnt use to her being so blunt. It turns him on. Theres a small part of him that cant help but wonder where she's learned this from, because it wasnt something that she developed with him. Then he realizes it must have been, he's ninety nine percent sure that he's the only guy she's been with in that way. He's brought to the conclusion that he just must have not been paying attention. He regrets every moment he's had with her in the past where he didnt pay _enough _attention. Thats why he's trying to make up for it now, before everything blows over. He knew she would hate him when she found out about Brittany. Lying to her like this was killing him inside, but he was selfish; he wasnt ready to let her go. The only way things between them would ever really be over is if she cut him off. She wouldnt cut him off if she didnt find out about it. All he had to do was keep her away from McKinley till graduation. Which was kind of difficult considering she was dead set on going to help Artie, Mike, and Finn mentor the newbies. Since last thursday when she was suppose to make her first appearence he'd been showing up to her house in the early mornings veering her off track. Making up excuses for her not to go, or making love to her making sure she was too worn out to show up. Two more days. Two more days of diflection is all it would take before she was on a plane back to L.A. and he wouldnt have to lie to her anymore, atleast not to her face. Six more months. Six months and thirteen days before he graduated and would move out to L.A. where they could be together for _real_. He still hasnt decided whether or not he'll tell her when he gets there. They could start on a clean slate, be in an honest committed relationship. _I can't_. _There would be no relationship if she found out, so she wont_. But he'll make it up to her, he'll be everything she desereves and then some.

He's brought out of his thoughts at the sight of her spreading her legs wide, she sucks her middle and ring finger into her mouth before slowly inserting them into her glistening pussy. She thrust one, two, three times before her fingers are engulfed in his mouth and his fingers enter where hers have just abandoned. One hundred and twenty seconds, thats how long it took for her to come. Her fingers never could work quite like his. She hasnt fully come down from her high before she feels him pounding into her. Her legs are lazily draped over his shoulders. Theres something primal about the way he watches her, and the sounds that he's making. It turns her on. Its been a while since he's fucked her like this; quick, hard, and rough. Lately its been all about the slow passionate love making which is strange to her considering her baby is notorious for switching it up on her on the daily. But he's making up for it now. "Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum bab-" The rest of the words out of her mouth are whimpered incoherantly. "Fuck" He growls at the sight beneath him before shutting his eyes tightly. He's a little nervous he's not gonna make it. He never lets himself cum before her, but watching her fuck herself really messed up his game. He didnt think he'd be able to look her in the eye if he came before she did. By the grace of god they came at the same time. He collapse on top of her before wraping his arms around her securely. This is his favorite part, her fingers playing in his hair while he rest his head on her chest listening for her heartbeat to return to normal. It's 7:05, _Fuck!_ he promised brittany he'd give her a ride to school. _Five more minutes_ he thinks to himself. He slips out of bed and heads for the shower. He glances in her direction before opening the door. She's staring up at the cieling seemingly deep in thought, expression on her face unreadable. He glances at the clock sitting on her nightstand 7:13.

_What the fuck is going on?_ Something just didnt feel right. He's hiding something from her, she just knows it. When he came out to L.A. and made his confession originally she was ready to let him go. But he spent all weekend convincing her of all the ways they were perfect for eachother and she caved. She forgave him. When they got back together they decided the only way they could make it work is if he promised to be completely honest with her from that point on, and if she promised not to hold his past mistakes against him which is why she was trying so hard not to jump to conclusions. But she couldnt help that nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that was telling her she couldnt trust him he walks back into the room she's sitting on the bed with a sheet wrapped around her waiting for him. "So, theres this festival a couple towns over I was thinking we could go to, theres music and dancing and rides an-". He walks around the room searching for his clothes putting them on as he finds them. "Where are you going?" she ask softly. He hated when she asked questions like that, questions where his response would have to be a lie. "Gotta make a quick stop, then school".

"I thought you said you were skiping"

"No, I said _you _should skip"

"No Sam, you said _we _should, spend the day together, make up for lost time. I mean ive been here for close to a week and we've barely spent any time together-" He tries to object but she stops him before he gets a chance "-and sex in the mornings doesnt count Sammy"

"If I'm gonna graduate and come out to L.A. I cant be missin class Cedes" She hugs her knees to her chest, cresfallen expression written all over on her face. He walks over to her and leans down placing a soft kiss on her lips then smiles encouragingly"I'll make it up to you, I promise" He sits down at the foot of the bed and begins the process of putting on his sneakers. With his back to her he finally allows the overwhelmingly intense feeling of guilt to take over. First he feels her soft caress along his shoulders before wrapping around him, then he feels her lips graze his ear as she whispers. "Stay with me"

"Cedes-"

"Just stay"

"I Cant"

"I need you"

"I C-"

"I _need _you"

"I cant"

"Stay with me, please?"

"No, i _have _to go"

Silence, thats all he hears as he makes his last round around her room collecting his things before placing them in the duffle bag sitting on the edge of her bed. He looks up in time to catch her raising on her knees making her way over to him. She kisses his lips then she moves to _that _spot in the crook of his neck. "Cedes-" He tries to protest, but hes destracted by her allowing the sheet to fall leaving her completely exposed. The next thing he knows his dick is out, and as he tries to figure out how she moved so fast he feels her lips wrap around him. "Cedes" he moans "I cant""I have to go""Stop" he protest half heartedly. She releases him with a pop before grabbing a magazine off of her nightstand and laying back in all her naked glory shamelessly.

"ok."

"ok?'

"ok...you can leave now. Dont want you to miss school on acount of me."

"Why the fuck would you- Who does that!"

"I _was _gonna fuck you; to get you to stay, but I dont know. I guess realizing that me practically _begging _you to stay cause i _need _you doesnt work as efficiently as me sucking your cock kinda killed my labido." she says casually as she flips through her magazine "Oh, dont forget your phone its on the kitchen counter, and make sure you lock the door on your way out. And _PLEASE _remember to tuck your dick back in your pants before you walk out that front door"

Hearing the front door slam was her que to get up and make herself something to eat. She grabs her phone and puts on her robe before running downstairs. She places her phone on the kitchen counter before turning on the stove, she fills the kettle with water before placing it on the fire. She hears her phone ring and picks it up while scanning through the fridge for something to make.

"Hello?"

"Sam? Are you okay, do you have a cold or something?"

"Brittany?-"

"Listen, I dont have much time I'm still getting ready, but lord tubbington told me to tell you that he needs a ride to the free clinic. Something about some ratchet kitty he got into last week. He also just now told me to tell you that if we go now we can get you some medicine for your cold, which means we can totally make out between classes. So hurry up, Love you, see you soon ". She hung up after bowing kisses into the phone. She stares at the phone in bewilderment before sitting at the island table. _What the actual fuck?_.

He's at a red light a block away from Brittany's house checking his pockets furiously when he realizes he left his phone at Cedes house. As soon as the realization is made he makes a screeching u-turn. He's only been gone for five minutes, she's probably still upstairs in her bedroom reading the stupid magazine. The cars barely stopped when he jumps out and runs to the front door. He glances at it after lifting the welcome mat and grabbing the house key hastly unlocking the front door. He takes the fact that the car hasnt rolled down the hill its parked on as a good sign. His eyes burn as he watches her. She has her head down focused on something she's looking at on his phone, and by the expression on her face he could tell it isnt good. He's sure that the pounding of his heartbeat could be heard over the wailing the burning kettle. "Mercedes" he calls out hesitantly as he takes a step towards her. He calls her name three more times, but its as if he isnt even there. She's in trance, her eyes move frantically from one side of the screen to the other then back again. Every so often her finger drags along the screen. A migrain begins to form from the stress of the impending confrontation sure to take place combined with the agonizing squeel of the kettle so he turns it off.

"I think thats why santana's always been so mean to me, she knew i was into you the whole time-" When he turns around her eyes are on him and he freezes. She's shaking uncontrollably and her eyes are red and misty.

"Mercedes don-"

"Too late...Ive read every messege you've sent her since september" She pauses, and gives him the chance to say something, anything but he's silent. "Every one. Messeges about how pretty you think she is, and how talented she is, and how you'd fuck her if she'd give you the chance, and about how happy she makes you, how she's your soulmate, and how your falling in love with her-"

"I'm not, Cedes I'm not, there just words. Let me exp-"

"-and it hurts, it all hurts so much cause i knew, I _knew _i couldnt trust you anymore but I made myself tru- and look what fucking happens. But this messege, this one messege, i just, i just cant get it out of my head, i cant grasp, I cant-I 'I think thats why santana's always been so mean to me, she knew i was into you the whole time' You were into her the whole time? What whole time" she ask softly "What whole time?" she ask again more aggresively "When you were proposing to Quinn? Planning your fucking life with me? Say something!". He ducks just in time, a milisecond later and the phone that shattered along the wall directly behind him would have made contact with his face. He comes to his senses in time to catch a glimpse of the backs of her feet as she turns the corner into the hallway at the top of the staircase. When he enters her room she's rumaging through her closet. He shuts her bedroom door and sighs before rubbing his eyes.

"We need to talk-" She places a pair of jeans on her bed before turning to him with a detached expression on her face. "I'm sorry I broke your phone. That was really immature of me, I know how much your parents put into getting it. I'll replace it" She walks past him into the bathroom and turns on the shower. When she returns into the room she looks surprised to still see him there sitting on the ground with his back against the foot of the bed.

"When I got back to the hudmels after everything went down at your place. She was there waiting for me. Appearently Santana had told her that I went to see you. She was crying, she begged me not leave her like Santana did. That was part of our deal when we first got together, we promised not to leave eachother like our exes left us. I promised her I wouldnt hurt her. I couldnt break up with her. Part of our agreement was that after we graduated it would be a clean break. So I just figured by the time I got out to L.A...god its sounds so stupid now, but at the time it just seemed like the only way for me to make everyone happy. But you have to understand Cedes, I couldnt break my promise to her "

"But you could break your promise to me?"

"You werent suppose to find out, not like this. I was gonna tell you but not like this". He's on his feet now making his way towards her begging her to understand the words that wont quite come out as he means "I dont know why I keep fucking this up, this, you are the most important thing, the best things thats ever happened to me" allowing his tears to finally flow freely

She smiles at him condescendingly before shaking her head in disdain. "Your a real peice of shit, you know that? Your saying all this like it matters, like it'll make a difference. But those text show... Its all the same shit you say to her, and she didnt even have to get her heartbroken to hear them." she laughs humorlessly shaking her head.

"I know you probably hate me now"

"I dont, I wish I did. If I did this wouldnt hurt so much" she expresses allowing the emotion she previously tried to hide show as two stubborn tears slide down her cheaks

"I love you, I dont love her. I know I hurt you but I just need you to know that I never meant for you to feel this way. And that I Love you, only you. What you read, it didnt mean anything...they were just words-"

"Exactly, there just words. Right now all you have is your word Sam. And like you said, they mean nothing. There _just _words". He opens his mouth to speak again but she doesnt give him the chance, walking over to her door and holding it open for him "Bye"


End file.
